I fear that i still feel something for you, my dear old friend.
How long has it been since this last came up between us...5 years?
And still i yearn for perhaps a small chance with you.
It's not as though there hasn't been others.
With each one that comes along, you get banished to the back of my mind.
Yet i can feel you in my shimmering memories as you sit in the shadows.
Not tangible enough to actually reach out and touch you, but just strong enough to feel your presence especially in my moments of weakness and doubt.
And everytime they go, you come back again in full force.
And leave me confused.
And every single time, i'm left wondering if i should perhaps let on what i feel.
But how can i...when i do not even know what this feeling is?
Do i still feel something for you because i know this can never be?
Maybe you are and you'll always be my safety net,
The one who gives me hope in love and lets me dream again,
The one who gives life to my daydreams.
Maybe this is just because i know the moment i let on this knot in my heart, you'll run as i used to do.
You were always the bigger commitmentphob.
You make my romantic notions of love come alive in my thoughts, in my dreams, and in my fantasies. Yet you raise my expectations, to the point that I know no one could ever reach...yes, not even you.
I was telling a friend about you today.
About how all this will probably end at one of our deathbeds.
How we'll finally have the courage to tell each other how we feel, just when we're not going to see each other again. It's the first time i've let someone into this jumble since...has it been half a decade already?
Half a decade of hot and cold.
How long has it been since this last came up between us...5 years?
And still i yearn for perhaps a small chance with you.
It's not as though there hasn't been others.
With each one that comes along, you get banished to the back of my mind.
Yet i can feel you in my shimmering memories as you sit in the shadows.
Not tangible enough to actually reach out and touch you, but just strong enough to feel your presence especially in my moments of weakness and doubt.
And everytime they go, you come back again in full force.
And leave me confused.
And every single time, i'm left wondering if i should perhaps let on what i feel.
But how can i...when i do not even know what this feeling is?
Do i still feel something for you because i know this can never be?
Maybe you are and you'll always be my safety net,
The one who gives me hope in love and lets me dream again,
The one who gives life to my daydreams.
Maybe this is just because i know the moment i let on this knot in my heart, you'll run as i used to do.
You were always the bigger commitmentphob.
You make my romantic notions of love come alive in my thoughts, in my dreams, and in my fantasies. Yet you raise my expectations, to the point that I know no one could ever reach...yes, not even you.
I was telling a friend about you today.
About how all this will probably end at one of our deathbeds.
How we'll finally have the courage to tell each other how we feel, just when we're not going to see each other again. It's the first time i've let someone into this jumble since...has it been half a decade already?
Half a decade of hot and cold.
Of teasing and fun.
Of talks and what nots.
Why is me teasing you about her 'weird coming from me'?
Am i supposed to discover the deep underlying message encoded in your words?
Or was it just a casual tribute to our past?
.
.
.
.
.
.
What past?
Dear old friend, we're embroiled in a past of 'what ifs' and 'could've beens'.
Our future looks to be one of secrecy and hidden longings.
And for now, it seems as if all i can do, is grin as i smack you, laugh as we joke, listen as you tell me your thoughts.
Then what?
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