Nada

There is nothing that could be a problem. And yet, this nothing is troubling me. It hangs onto my words, occupies my mind and weighs heavy on my heart.

'Existential conversation without any words', how brilliant was that? Just two minds floating and intermingling beyond everything and just being. Sometimes I wonder where all these sporadic bursts of inspiration come from. Because when I know that, I can control it and I could use it whenever. I'd sound oh-so-witty and oh-so-smart and everyone would want to be my friend.

Then there are the times I like my mind feeling like a desert. Because then, when something inspiring pops up, I hog it to myself like precious drops of water.

I wish I had dreams. I wish I remembered them. I wish they taught me things. I wish they brought revelations. I wish the ones that made me smile lasted longer. I wish the ones that wake me up with a jolt and leave me in a frightened stupor ceased. I wish I could get back to sleep after waking. I wish I could sleep, period.

I like rambling. I like people who let me ramble. I don't like people who tell me I'm too imaginative. One can never be too imaginative, that's just the thinking of the soulless. And that's what I think you are. I don't like it when you tell me my thoughts are too out there or that I'm crazy in that condescending tone. I may get childlike and even childish occasionally, but that keeps me sane and happy. Don't change me into what you want me to be just because that's the only way you know how to deal.

Sometimes I send numerous people one message. I like receiving the different responses. That keeps me from becoming staid.

I don't now if I've really changed, or if I'm just me coming out of my shell.

Do you?

...Or has the line between your perception and your being been erased?



I go through all this before you wake up
So I can feel happy and to be safe again with you
- Bjork's Hyperballad