I wish I could tell him I know how he feels...
To be sucked in deeper and deeper into a feeling you don't understand.
To not be able to finger the cause of this heaviness in your heart.
To look around and know you're hurting the ones closest to you and not be able to stop.
To be constantly defeated by yourself because all you see are your faults.
Everytime I come close to telling him, come close to reaching out...I feel us drifting further and further, with him pushing and pushing. I understand you know, I really do. And eventually, you'll find the strength within yourself to climb back up from the pit. You'll hear this little rumbling within you and you'll start to know what to do...what little steps you can take to make changes. It doesn't happen overnight, but you will feel a slight difference.
It comes back to haunt you occasionally after that. Think of it as the anti-thesis of the yes-man. It makes you question yourself and your intentions, giving you the conviction to move on in the right direction for you. In the meantime, try to work around the negativity surrounding you...concentrate on your strengths, be considerate to the people around you and keep working on fighting it. It's an uphill battle, but you'll get there. It took me 4 years to get over mine...and 5 years on, I still dip back in now and then. But I've learnt to enjoy it.
Everything in moderation.
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