Girl Interrupted

The past week has been, well, weird?

My feelings were amplified and I'm strangely sensitive to everything...whether positively or negatively.

Today, I put everything in perspective. And I'm back to feeling neutral again. Which feels free, once again. We had a movie marathon on Sunday, a week after our last late-night almost-stayedover but didn't. Would things have been different if I had? Maybe, I sensed a tear in the bubblewrap that I could have squeezed through. But this break is about doing things we have to do and not be self-indulgent so I had to go back.

Girl, Interrupted sprung a revelation on me: "Crazy isn't being broken...it's you and me amplified." It was somewhere hovering at the back of my mind and now, I'm sure. But nothing can be done till both sets of eyes can see so it's back to just being there. I'm glad I've stopped driving myself crazy today...I hope this pause lasts longer.

I was proud lastlast Sunday, that I could get through the anger. I wasn't scared!

I. wasn't. scared.

!!! =0D

I knew then that this may actually work. Because I've seen him at his worst and I can draw him out. Younger T asked how I did it, he was amazed and I was proud of lil' ol' me.

We had a moment, me sitting with my back on the pole. I paused. I suggested. He looked at me...I wish I knew what went through his mind when he said ok.

Of course, as life goes...the highs were filled with lows. But now that I'm back to neutral, I hope I can see things for what they are and not what I think they are paranoia- or hope-wise.

Swisscuz says to trust my instincts because as it goes in German...women follow the element of water. So trust she says, and love wholeheartedly because there is no other way to love.

And I thank her for the reminder.